This is a long haul trip of a painting. I have had many interruptions in its creation this week, due to some things to resolve in my non-painting life. It was interesting to see how this affected my ability to paint. Marks did not manifest easily, as I was not focused.
Today I respected myself and asserted boundaries, and now everything is on the right track again.
It is turning out to be a very light hearted painting. In fact, I can feel it lifting my heart as I paint it. The nicotiana blooms remind me of little stars shining out their light in a green sky. Today I remembered how I used to float flower shaped candles this colour in a green glass bowl, and the painting is affecting me in the same way. I can almost hear Astrud Gilberto singing 'stay' as I paint it. I was very into Astrud during the floating candles phase. So I have listened to the flowers, and have chosen to stay in their world; not in the other one that was unsettling me this week.
In this painting the flowers are sitting on top of the textured background. The background dried before I could merge the blooms into it, but this is an interesting effect. The texture is showing through the blooms in some places. I was considering doing impasto flowers to subdue it, but the texture creates a
kind of frisson or resonance to me. It reminds me of how sound creates patterns in fine sand, and suggests to me a sound emanating from the background right through the flowers, as if they are singing it. It reminds me of a dream I had recently when I sang one note, and then I heard a whole choir of voices singing the same note with me. We were all singing together; it was not as if I was the leader or anything. It was a very beautiful experience, and reminded me of Barry Manilow's song 'one voice'. He wrote one voice inspired by a dream. Maybe it was similar to mine.
Anyway, these flowers with the texture shining through them remind me of all those voices singing with me.
The painting has quite a way to go until it is finished. Progress has been slow, and nicotiana change so quickly. I was reminded of how quickly Van Gogh worked today, and wished I could do the same. However, he wrote in one of his letters how he wished he could paint delicately, so I suppose it's either slow and delicate or quick and rough. Maybe I just need to drink some absinthe.
I'm not quite sure about the saying 'a bad workman blames his tools'. I have been severely hampered today by a lack of appropriate brushes. I was using three brushes with many different colours, so I had to be very careful to avoid greys. It was another thing that slowed progress. It got so unbearable that I had a break and ordered some excellent brushes that I know are going to be perfect for the job and will last for years.